Coach Yourself: Everyday Tools for Thinking Clearly, Leading Wisely, and Living Well

by Paul Thomas

Last edited 18 days ago

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

Introduction: Why Self-Coaching Matters
Self-coaching is not about fixing yourself. It's about learning to listen more closely to your thoughts, your needs, your strengths, and your environment. It's a way of pressing pause in a fast world. Of asking better questions instead of chasing faster answers.
Whether you're leading a team or simply leading your own life, self-coaching helps you respond more intentionally. It gives you a way to reflect, reframe, and realign with what matters.
This guide offers practical tools you can use anytime not just at work, but in everyday life. Think of it as a gentle companion to help you stay clear, grounded, and growing.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

How to Use the Gamma Coaching Guide
✅ Start Small: Take 5 minutes at the beginning or end of your day to flick through a few prompts.
✅ Use as a Journal Companion: If you like to journal, copy a question and spend a few minutes writing freely.
✅ Spot Check Before Big Decisions: Before a tough conversation or new project, use a coaching question to ground your thinking.
✅ No Pressure: You don’t need to answer every question! Let the ones that spark something be your starting point.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

How to Install the Gamma Coaching Guide on Your Phone
For iPhone (iOS):
1️⃣ Download the PDF from the link provided in your email or on the website.
2️⃣ Once it’s open, tap the share icon (usually a square with an arrow).
3️⃣ Choose “Save to Files” if you want to store it in your Files app.
4️⃣ Or, if you’d rather save it to your Books app for easier reading, tap “Save to Books.”
5️⃣ Done! You can now find it in your Books app (or Files) for easy offline reading.
For Android:
1️⃣ Download the PDF from the link provided.
2️⃣ It will typically appear in your Downloads folder.
3️⃣ Open the file using any PDF reader you like (e.g. Google PDF Viewer, Adobe Acrobat).
4️⃣ If you want to keep it handy, move it to your Documents folder or save it to your Google Drive for easy access.
Bonus Tips
  • If you want to annotate directly, open it in a note-taking app like GoodNotes (iOS) or Xodo (Android).
  • For quick access, add a shortcut to your home screen (most PDF apps let you do this!).

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

How to Install the Gamma Site as an App on Your Phone
For iPhone (iOS) – Using Safari
1️⃣ Open the Gamma site link in Safari.
2️⃣ Tap the Share icon (a square with an arrow pointing up).
3️⃣ Scroll down and tap “Add to Home Screen.”
4️⃣ Rename it (e.g. “Gamma Guide”) if you like, then tap “Add.”
5️⃣ You’ll see the icon on your home screen – tap it any time for quick access!
For Android – Using Chrome
1️⃣ Open the Gamma site link in Chrome.
2️⃣ Tap the three-dot menu (top-right).
3️⃣ Select “Add to Home screen.”
4️⃣ You can rename it if you like, then tap “Add.”
5️⃣ It will appear on your home screen like an app.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

1. Start With Self-Awareness
Effective self-coaching starts with self-awareness. Before you change anything, get curious about what's actually happening inside you. This means pausing long enough to notice your emotional state, thought patterns, and physical sensations without immediately trying to fix or judge them.
Most of us rush through our days reacting to circumstances rather than responding with intention. Building self-awareness creates that crucial gap between stimulus and response the space where real choice exists.
Try This: The Daily Check-In
Set aside 3-5 minutes each morning or evening for this practice:
  • What am I feeling? (Name specific emotions: anxious, excited, frustrated, peaceful)
  • What am I thinking? (Notice recurring thoughts or stories you're telling yourself)
  • What's driving me right now - fear of failure, hope for recognition, external pressure, genuine excitement?
  • What do I need today? (Rest, connection, focus time, movement)
You don't need to analyze everything. Just notice and name with compassion. Research shows that simply labeling your emotions reduces their grip on you and activates your prefrontal cortex the part of your brain responsible for thoughtful decision-making.
As you practice this daily, you'll start recognizing patterns. Perhaps you notice that deadline pressure triggers perfectionist thinking, or that certain interactions consistently drain your energy. These insights become powerful data points for your self-coaching journey.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

2. The Questions That Change Things
In tricky moments, the right question can shift everything. Here are a few to keep in your back pocket:
What's really going on here?
What am I assuming?
What would I do if I felt more confident?
What outcome matters most?
Who else's voice is in my head?
What's one small step I can take?

Use these in your journal, on a walk, or before making a big call. They work because they slow you down, make you think, and reconnect you with your values.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

3. Designing Better Defaults
Your habits shape your leadership and daily effectiveness. The self-awareness you've built (from section 1) and the powerful questions you've learned to ask (from section 2) now give you the foundation to redesign your automatic behaviors. Often, we don't need more willpower we need better systems that make the right choices easier.
Identify a habit you want to shift
Use your daily check-ins to spot patterns that don't serve you. Example: Checking emails first thing drains creative energy and puts you in reactive mode. Instead, you want to start with focused deep work.
Remove the triggers
Make unwanted behaviors harder by eliminating cues. Example: Keep your phone outside the bedroom overnight, disable notifications, and don't open email until you've completed 90 minutes of priority work.
Add visual cues for desired behaviors
Create environmental prompts that nudge you toward better choices. Example: Place a notebook and your current project materials on your desk the night before. Prepare a morning tea/coffee station. Set out workout clothes if morning exercise is your goal.

Small tweaks to your environment can lead to lasting shifts in your behavior. The key is designing your surroundings so your best intentions become your default actions even when willpower is low or stress is high. This approach works whether you're building better meeting habits, improving your listening skills, or creating space for strategic thinking.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

4. Your Strengths Are Clues
We grow fastest when we build on what we already do well. Strengths are not just skills they're patterns of energy, motivation, and effectiveness. When you're using your core strengths, work feels engaging rather than depleting, and you achieve results with less struggle.
Try This: Strengths Spotting
  • When was I last 'in flow'? What was I doing? (Example: Maybe you lost track of time while organizing information into a clear framework, suggesting you have analytical strengths)
  • What do people thank me for? (Example: "You always know exactly what questions to ask" points to your strength in critical thinking)
  • What comes naturally to me that others find hard? (Example: Perhaps you easily build rapport with strangers, indicating relationship-building strengths)
These clues point to your natural edge. Use them to choose work that leverages these talents, shape goals that align with your inherent abilities, and solve problems your way. For instance, if connecting ideas is your strength, volunteer for synthesis work rather than detailed analysis.

Your most reliable path to exceptional performance isn't fixing weaknesses it's identifying and deploying your unique strengths pattern. When facing challenges, ask yourself: "How could my particular strengths help solve this problem differently?"

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

5. Boundaries Are Not Barriers
Boundaries protect your energy, time, and focus—essential resources for effective self-coaching. They're not selfish—they're strategic containers that preserve your capacity to think clearly and lead wisely in all areas of life.
Work Boundaries:
Define when you're available for meetings, how quickly you'll respond to messages, and what projects deserve your deepest attention.
Time Boundaries:
Protect your thinking time, personal restoration periods, and the space between activities that allows for integration and reflection.
Relationship Boundaries:
Clarify what behaviors you will and won't accept, how much emotional labor you can sustainably offer, and which relationships truly energize you.
When setting boundaries, use these proven scripts adapted to your situation:
"I'm at capacity right now, but here's what I can offer: I can review this next Tuesday, or I can connect you with Alex who might help sooner."
"I need a bit of time to think about that. I'll get back to you tomorrow by 3pm with my thoughts on the proposal."
"I'm protecting some space for focused work between 9-11am can we talk after lunch at 1:30? I'll be fully present then."

Boundaries are easier to hold when they're clear, kind, and consistent. Think of them as the container that makes your self-coaching possible without them, your insights and intentions will constantly be overridden by others' priorities and urgent demands. The most effective self-coaches don't just set boundaries; they design them deliberately to align with their strengths and deeper purpose.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

6. Coaching in the Moment
Sometimes, you don't have time for a journal or a long reflection. You just need a reset, right now.
Box Breathing
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.
Reframe
"What's the opportunity in this constraint?"
Shift Focus
Ask, "What's within my control?"
These micro-moves help you stay steady under pressure.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

7. Self-Coaching Prompts for ChatGPT
You can use ChatGPT as a thought partner to go deeper than your default thinking. These prompts are designed to challenge assumptions, unlock insight, and help you ask the kinds of questions you didn't know you needed.
To Expand Awareness
  • "What emotion might be behind my frustration, and what could it be pointing me towards?"
  • "If I were being completely honest with myself, what would I admit is really bothering me?"
  • "What tension am I holding between who I want to be and how I'm showing up?"
To Break Through Blocks
  • "What's the cost of staying where I am, and what story am I using to justify it?"
  • "If I had no fear of failure or judgement, what would I do differently this week?"
  • "What's one truth I've been avoiding, and what would happen if I faced it with compassion?"
To Shift Perspective
  • "What would my future self thank me for doing today?"
  • "If this situation were happening to someone I love, how would I advise them?"
  • "How might I reinterpret this situation through the lens of growth, not threat?"
To Reconnect with Purpose
  • "What's the deeper 'why' behind the goal I'm chasing right now?"
  • "What impact do I want to have this year, and what qualities will help me get there?"
  • "If I stripped away titles, outcomes, or roles what kind of person do I want to be?"
These prompts aren't about finding perfect answers. They're about making space for deeper, wiser thinking. Use them when you're journaling, walking, or just trying to hear yourself more clearly.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

8. A Real-World Reset: Sam's Story
A Real-World Reset: Reclaiming Time
Sam who I worked with was feeling overwhelmed. Her calendar was packed with back-to-back meetings some useful, many not. She was constantly reacting, never pausing, and struggling to find space for her actual priorities.
I asked her, “What would your ideal week look like?” She paused. Then she smiled. And we mapped it out: focus blocks, walking breaks, prep time, clear boundaries.
From there, we coached bit by bit replacing default yeses with thoughtful noes, stepping out of meetings where her input wasn’t essential, and designing better defaults for how her time was used.
She used tools like habit redesign (swapping her first meeting with a daily planning ritual), boundary scripts (“Can we shift this to an email?”), and regular self-check-ins to stay on track.
Over time, her calendar started to reflect not just her workload, but her values. She reclaimed time not all at once, but steadily. And with that time came more calm, more clarity, and more presence.
That’s the power of self-coaching. Small, consistent shifts. A clearer sense of what matters. And the courage to honour it.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

9. From Insight to Action
Awareness is useful. Action is powerful. End your self-coaching with a clear next step.
One-Page Plan:
  • What's one insight I'm taking from this guide?
  • What small action will I try this week?
  • When will I check in with myself about it?
Change doesn't have to be dramatic. It just has to be intentional.

© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.

Closing Note
You don't need to wait for permission to grow. The tools are already within you. Self-coaching isn't about doing more it's about noticing better. It's about leading yourself with the same care you offer others.
Use these questions as often as you need. They’re not about fixing they’re about seeing more clearly, so you can choose what matters most.
If something here resonated, share it. Try one prompt. Pass it on. Growth doesn't need a guru just a good question and a little courage.
You've got this.
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© 2025 The Human Co. All rights reserved. This material may not be copied, distributed, or sold without written permission.